To understand what I'm going through doesn't take much time indeed. This pain is familiar, but not the hardest one I have faced in my life. He had known that my feelings have been there set aside for him; he knows that there's a place in my heart that is always open only for him. But right now, I don't know how to close that space. It has been twice where I had dropped everything and ran towards him; giving him everything I had. I can't say that I love him, because the relationship we had wasn't strong as what _______ and I had been through. That, through my eyes, was my first love. I guess this is just a simple heartbreak and I know that I'll pull through just like I've always had. It won't take me a while to get over you, but I just know inside my heart that things will never be the same. The awkwardness of talking to a best friend when you know you don't like his girlfriend or whatever. The ability to to tell him everything has disappeared. The trust we had shared throughout the relationship. It's just.. I've feel that I've lost yet another person so genuinely so close to me. These loses.. I cannot handle well. Slowly as time progresses, I lose one person at a time. This is my all-time weakness. To share bonds with such amazing people and yet you just look back and say, "Damn. What a waste of time." Sigh. I just can't talk to him or bare to see him anymore. This hurts.
Well, this is in my buddy info, but I'm not sure if he read it or not. Whatever, IDGAFS anymore.
For some reason, my heart felt like it just dropped another thousand feet into the ground. What I thought was more than a friend just suddenly disappeared into a tiny black hole; never to be found ever again. It hurts to see the ones we like, like someone else, but as the quote says, "Don't waste your time chasing the ones you like instead of the one that loves you because the person you like will chase after the ones they love." What I can say is that nothing is wrong, but I know inside that it'll never be the same. But the goal is to remain strong and refrain from weakness, sadness, and those damn tears. It is the struggle to move on without showing vulnerability.
