Disappointments.

The boys I used to like or currently like are seriously pissing me off. I don't know where the hell I went wrong and I seriously don't think I fucking deserve all this BULLSHIT from them. Stupid boys. Shit faces. Anyways, I'll tell you about why each these boys are pissing me off.
From youngest to oldest; try to guess who they are. & they're all different people.

1. My first love; you should KNOW who this is, lol. He took me off of his MySpace; I know it's not a big deal and crap, but it portrays how he doesn't want me in his life anymore. I don't know what to do. After all our promises, are they still there? I want to write you a letter, but I don't even know how to do this. I don't even know how this is gonna work. Seriously? After all of the heartbreaks you gave me, I'm still here. I still fucking care. I'm still here to listen.

2. Dumb ass. I called you so we could discuss calmly about what happened between you & her. She LIKES someone else and tells you to fucking wait for her because she still likes the other dude. Are you that FUCKING STUPID? You expect me to just sit back here and let that happen? You gave me hella attitude last night when I tried to lighten things up. You haven't called me for more than a week because you thought I didn't want to talk about this. You wanted to talk to me about it, but you thought I didn't want to hear it because it was about her. Even if I hate her, I don't want you to hold back because I do. We're best friends. We're supposed to tell each other what's been eating up inside our minds. I've literally stared at my phone for the past week thinking you'd fucking call. Bullshit. I'm tired. You're willing to wait for a girl that doesn't fully like you, but you don't go for the girl that knows you by heart. Excellent move, genius.

3. You're such a man whore. You go from relationship to relationship. Right after she left you, you went looking for me. I don't feel comfortable with you flirting with me and calling me 'Baby' or 'Babe' and expect me to call you that back? I don't think so. I might have gave you the wrong signs in the beginning, but I'm coming back to my senses. I guess I was needing to be so flirtatious because no one was there for me to be flirtatious with. I know I hella toyed with your emotions, and I'm sorry. Really. I just.. needed someone there for me. I felt so empty for so long.. I didn't know how to control it. I just want to set things straight; I don't like you. Other than being so flirty, you would have been the perfect guy. We are alike in so many ways I can't possibly imagine, but the thing is that.. I don't like you. I feel no passion between us & plus you like taking things fast. I don't. I like to take it slow. Ugh. I'm so frustrated!

No One

Uses Blogger anymore! It's either they switched to Tumblr, or they're just.. too busy to blog? Idk. Anyways, I went out yesterday for the first time since I've been back in Cali! I went to Eastridge and watched Harry Potter & the Half Blood Prince with him. I fucking got IMAX tickets and it wasn't even worth it because we only used those stupid glasses for only what? 20 minutes? How sad is that? It was like.. $4 more per ticket. Anyways, he was a few minutes late, but when we got there, the advertisements were still in play. He tried talking to me throughout the film, but I didn't really care for it much. There were moments where we could have 'cuddled' and stuff, but I didn't have the courage to place my head on his shoulder like I used to. Heck, I used to do it when I didn't see him that way. He told me that he was cold, and usually when he states that, he wants to cuddle or hold someone etc. etc. I just looked back at him and said, "Me too." And that was it. After we left the theater, we went to the food court and just ate. It was fun talking to him one on one for the first time in ages. We made fun of each other and I played around with his iPhone. He kept insisting that I was jealous, but all I wanted was to play with it! Haha. After we ate, we walked around mindlessly around; we met up with stores more than twice. It was pretty sad, but I didn't pay much attention to that. Towards the end, we went to Barnes and Noble around the kid section. We chilled until my dad called me; he was at the Starbucks INSIDE Barnes and Noble, but I thought he was at the other one. I was in panic mode. I didn't want my dad to see him. So we left the book shop, and there he was. My dad was sitting on the couch near the opening. The second I had stepped outside, my father looked at me with a smile. I was scared shitless.
Me: "Oh, hi dad.. I thought you were at Starbucks?"
Dad: "Yeah, I was at the Starbucks inside the bookstore."
Me: "Oh yeah? Well, this is my friend, ____."
Him: "Chao chu."
Me: "Okay, Dad! Let's goooo."
So Dad knew I wanted to walk ______ out and gave us some alone time. I hugged him goodbye and told him not to get lost.. AGAIN. I ran after my dad and we went to my grandmother's house to pick up my sister. When we got in the car, my dad pestered me with all of these questions!

1. How old is he?
2. What's his major?
3. What school does he go to?
4. How is he getting home?
5. He drives?

The one comment he left me, kinda.. relieved me.
-He seems very polite, huh? [And he SMILED at me!]

DID YOU KNOW HOW MUCH IT MADE ME FEEL BETTER? I thought he was going to strangle me; considering his age and all that. Hallelujah. I could have sworn bells were ringing. LOL JK. But that's how my day went. [:

Shit.

My cousin sent me a message on Facebook saying how I got her in trouble for going to San Diego. Fucking shit. She wanted to sneak to San Diego probably fucking getting drunk and shit and lied to her fucking mom that she was going back to fucking Davis instead. I told my mother that she wasn't going to be in Morgan Hill, so I slept over at Kristen's house instead. Fuck. She sent me a message saying how I was like a sister that had to cover for her and all that BS to make me feel guilty. Maybe if you let me on on the scheme, I would've kept my mouth fucking shut. FUCKING SHIT. It's not my fault that you got in trouble. Whatever.

Tumblr

I gots Tumblr now! Follow me! I'm not going to blog on there unless it's those goals I want to share with people and other stuff. I only post songs, pictures, quotes, and wishlists on there, but feel free to check it out if you want. Keeping Faith is my personal blog and I'm still going to keep for personal reasons, so don't unfollow me! Lol. Just wanted to let you guys know, that's all. I'll still continue to update on here. Oh yeah! Check out this song from Gabe Bondoc called Whether Or Not. It's such a great song and I'm pretty sure you'll like it too. Well anyways, I'm going to play with my page for most of the day, haha! Until next time, see you!

Helpless Romantic

So ever since I came back from Vietnam on August 2nd, I've been feeling.. strange? I didn't know how to operate my phone, I wanted to sleep the second I stepped into the house, I've been suffering a serious case of constipation, and now I got my TOM. So there you have it folks; I'm Amanda yet again. I don't want to go back to reality because all it does is just stress me out and leads me to a greater chance of disappointing my family and friends.. again. I shouldn't have planted so many goals inside my head because I know that I can't keep up. I'm not as fast as the others in that AP class. They're brilliant, intelligent, athletic, popular, etc. Man, I'm so tired that I just pass out every time I drift my face away from the screen of the laptop. It's been like that all day. I haven't slept for over 24 hours, which might explains why, haha. My plans for tomorrow is to read New Moon and listen to new songs I missed out on while I was gone. So last night was sort of awkward.. It was at around 1am when I called Booger [yes, I totally forgot that I nicknamed him that, how shameful of me!]. We talked until 2 something, but his phone hung up on me. I called him back and we talked for about another hour or so and he sang to me again! He sang Everything by Lifehouse; there's a story behind this song, but I just don't want to talk about it, muhahaha. It made me melt because it was a song I fell in love with a couple years back and it meant a lot to me. Any who, we're going to watch HP6 next Tuesday. Can't wait! Afterwards, we're going to Red Robbin and I'll try to make him shop with me.. and buy me stuff. I haven't seen that loser for a year! Ugh. I'm too lazy to continue. Until next time, see you!