Sweet Sixteen, Bby.

To be honest, today's the day of my sixteenth birthday party.. and I don't know how to plan it.
Confessions:
-I've been to many parties, but not people from school.
-I hate hosting anything.
-I'm usually not invited to many things.. so I don't know how a party goes.
-I think it's going to be lame.
-I don't know how to plan it.. and it would've been better if it wasn't so sudden.
-It's my fault. I shouldn't have asked for a party. Wait. I didn't. It was placed upon me, but abandoned soon after.
-Everything was last minute.
-I was the cause of the commotion between Joanne and her mother.
-It's all my fault.
-I'm in fear of hosting the most lamest party of the year.

My aunt Emily was talking about Vietnam one Saturday night about two or three weeks ago and somehow my mother also brought up my birthday along with that. She was surprised that it was my sixteenth birthday on the 7th of July.. and she knew that we'd be in Vietnam on that day. She and Joanne told me to just invite my friends and that they'll take care of everything. To be honest, I wasn't going to make my birthday big. Actually, I just wanted to go out and either go bowling or watch Transformers 2. Oh yeah! Kevin, Jovey, and I are gonna watch it tomorrow. Almost forgot! Anyways, they were so excited; told me not to worry except plan out who I'm inviting to my party. I was thrilled; never once in my life I have had a birthday party including friends. Sad? Pathetic? I know. I was just so.. isolated from my friends. Well, depending what group. The original day for the party was Saturday, June 27 at Morgan Hill. But a few days ago, right before the original day, Joanne got in an argument with her mother about her wanting to go to Los Angeles on the day of the party. The argument was not only about my birthday, but it was also about harbored anger within her she had held for many long years. The conflict resulted in her leaving the house without her cell, packing her clothes, and drove away in her Jaguar. Her mother called mines and asked her what she had said to Joanne in order to start her revolt against her mother. My mother was offended. It wasn't her idea in the first place to throw this party. After the phone call, we searched around San Jose, thinking of the possibilities where she might be. My mother tried her workplace, but she wasn't there. Then my mother realized that she was probably at her boyfriend, Davin's house. I don't know where she is now, but I prayed for her like another day didn't exist; but I knew as responsible as she was, she was going to be okay. So I guess the amazing party she was going to plan for me was canceled, but my aunt Emily convinced my mother to continue along with it. HOWEVER, yesterday she called my mother that she couldn't make it because of some other party. Thanks for kinda helping me with the idea but take off last minute. Thanks. My poor mother was in the mess; being accused of Joanne's rebellion and having to pay and plan for my party. I wanted a fun fairytale Sweet Sixteen, like the ones that they had on the show, but smaller. It was the total opposite. I had last minute changes, dealing with the conclusion that the people I really wanted to go couldn't go and people just hesitating to respond back to me. Maybe they didn't want to go? I wouldn't blame them. I just invited them because I didn't want anyone feeling left out of anything; everyone needs a buddy to talk to, right? Not a lot of people are coming, but random people are. I don't know how to deal with it! I don't know any icebreaker games or anything. I needed a party planner. I needed help, but no one was there. I kinda gave Leslie that job because I knew she was pretty good at it and that I know she's way more experienced than I, plus her birthday was just 9 days ago. Well, I don't know what the outcome of this party will turn out like, but I hope I can go to sleep tonight with a satisfied feeling within me. I hope I can sleep at all; I've been staying up for countless hours for the past few nights stressing on how this day will work out. I hope this will go well and I hope everyone will have fun. Until next time, see yuhh!

Sophomore Year 08-09

So this year had treated me pretty well. It was a stressful struggle for good grades, sports, recommendations, romance, friends, BOTT, and such. Grades: I don't know what I got for second semester, but I know a few letter grades aren't that pretty. The first semester was nice: all A's and one B. It's all good. Swimming: It was fun, EXCLUDING that stupid drama I had with a few of my fellow fishes, haha. It was nice when I had my spotlight. It felt nice to be the fastest free-stylist girl on the team for a while. But once the coach brought her out for the last meet, I get hella pissed off. "I was trying to hide her from the other coaches from past swim meets and come to most of the practices. Now she's going to be our secret weapon for finals!" -Coach McKay. I know this isn't everything, but that felt like a slap in the face. I was the fastest one on the team until she came along. Me: 36 sec. Her: 30 sec. flat. Recommendations: Ehh. I don't wanna say. It's stupid, haha Romance: Well, in my old blog, I ranted on & on about two guys I had fell for this year. I fell in love with one boy this year, and I'm really thankful that he had entered my life. He gave me self confidence, self respect, and basically everything else I wanted, not including a relationship I had deeply desired. If only I was older. But oh well. He was my first love, I guess that's why it's kinda hard to let go of what we had. The other boy.. screw him. If he doesn't bother anymore, why should I? No worries. Friends: Man, oh man. Without the main heads, I would've had the shittiest year ever. They defined the words fun, outrageous, outgoing, and CRAZY! I'm glad you guys entered my life and opened eyes to see the fun things in this world, instead of just coming home right after school and studying.
Well, I would continue this, but I'm too lazy. Instead, I'll fill this out:

How was this year?
It was pretty intense, having to deal with the drama, grades, sport, teachers, friends, and family. But in the end, it was totally awesome.
Did you fall in love?
I guess you can say I fell in love with Turtle.
How old were you through out the year?
15, yeah. I'm hella young.
Were you a trouble maker?
LOL. Somewhat.
Who was your best friend?
Jovelyn Gruspe
How many different boyfriend/girlfriends did you have?
I didn't go out with anyone this year.
Did you break any bones?
Nope.
How many different people did you kiss?
On the cheek? Idk. Lips? Nada.
Any MAJOR drama?
Not major, exactly.
Classes! 2nd period.
What was the class?
World History
Was it fun?
It was okay. He hella favored me, lol.
Who was the teacher?
Mr. Rick Torres
Did you like him/her?
He's cool. I love the favoritism!
Any funny moments in this class?
When he kept picking on Stephan Weston
Who sat next to you?
Jasmine and William Mendoza
Any idiots in that class?
Plenty. LOL.
3rd period.
What was the class?
English 2.
Did you like it?
Fuck no. She hella hated me.
Who was the teacher?
Ms. Elizabeth Del Real
Did you like them?
FUCK NO.
Any of those moments that you'll remember forever?
She called me hoochy. That's hella fucked up. I don't even dress like that on purpose.
Who sat next to you?
Uh Lewis Phanphongsa?
Any retards in that class?
Plenty. It's almost a remedial class.
4th period.
What was the class?
Geometry
Did you like it?
It was hella boring. I slept more than half of the year, and still managed the best grade in the class.
Who was the teacher?
Coach McKay.
Did you like him/her?
He's okay. He gets off topic a lot, but he favors me too.
Any embarrassing moments?
I snored hella loud that the other side of the room heard me. It's okay though. I was sick, haha.
Who sat next to you?
Eric Mesa
Any idiots in this class as well?
Many.
5th period.
What was the class?
Physical Education Course 2
Did you like it?
It was okay
Who was the teacher?
Mr. Jesse Tamez
Did you like them?
Love him! But he was mean at times.
Any romantic moments?
In that class? NO
Who sat next to you?
This one girl that kept touching and talking to me when i didn't even know her name. FREAK.
Any retards in this class?
Some.
6th period.
What was the class?
BIOLOGY!
Did you like it?
LOVE IT!
Who was the teacher?
Mrs. Tracy Pham
Did you like them?
She was cool. Really cool! Hella favored me, lol.
Any "crawl in a hole and die" moments?
Not in that class, except those times she placed me next to Banana.
Who sat next to you?
Banana, mostly.
Any idiots in this class too?
BANANA.
7th period.
What was the class?
Vietnamese For Vietnamese Speakers Course 2
Was it an activity period?
Sure! I did a lot of talking in the period.
Who was/were the teacher(s)?
Mr. Phach Nguyen
Did you like them?
He was like a cool dad.
Any good moments in this/these class(es)?
Those good old times with Turtle.
Who sat next to you[if you were sitting down at all]?
Anthony Ly and Charlene Vo
Idiots in this class?
Tony Vo and Pierre Nguyen. Lol.
The relationship status!!!
Date anyone special?
Well, I don't know if you would consider our past relationship as 'dating'.
What was his/her name?
Haha. Turtle.
Did you fall in love with this person?
Kinda Sorta Yeah.
Did you two break up?
Sorta. Yeah. Lol.
Who broke up with who?[if you two broke up]
He broke it off with me.
Did they leave you for your best friend? '
No, he kinda left me for Biggie.
Was he/she pretty?
She's pretty with makeup on ONLY. If she doesn't have any on, she looks disastrous.
Would you date them again?
I don't know. Maybe.
Did they really honestly love you? For you?
He liked me for me. But then he found an older version of almost me. LOL.
Did you love them for them?
Of course. I wouldn't love him any other way.

There's No Word

To describe the emptiness within me. I feel like there's a deep hole inside me; a place where he used to occupy my mind every single minute of every day. I miss the feeling of having someone to think about and also having someone thinking of me. I mean don't get me wrong. I am over him. I just.. don't know how to fill the space he left while also keeping a smile on my face. To survive junior year, I must focus and not let little romances and infatuations get inside my head; and if you know me pretty well, it's going to be an obstacle for me. To be honest, I don't know what I want. I want a relationship, but then I don't think I can handle one. It is somewhat planted inside my brain that school comes first and relationships are pointless and will just cause pain in the end. It is true, but why must I go after things that I can't have? I feel like I can't be really content or balanced until that emptiness is filled with the love I'm seeking. UGH. Why must I be so complicated, wanting to be loved?

P.S.S.- I miss your waking me up by calling me every night at 11 or 12 or 1 just checking up on me phone call. Just to let you know, after you told me about her, I checked my phone every night and stayed up for a certain amount of hours for the damn calls that never came. I waited every night to hear your ring tone and see that promise picture and your name light up on my phone. It never came.That was when I realized it was real; that was when I realized that you were officially over me.

Stefan

So yesterday I went to Jovey's house to put the last finishing touches on Stefan's goodbye/farewell card. Man, it was really sad. We printed out the picture from the left and taped it on to his card. We each wrote a little letter on the other page of the card and decorated it. I wrote about the time we met, how we got close, and etc. WE'VE BEEN FRIENDS FOR TWO YEARS & STILL GOING! Can you believe we have met in freshman year? TWO YEARS AGO? Man, how time surely flies. I still kept the photo booth picture Stefan, Chi, and I took last summer for my birthday. We're going to be juniors, guys. Really? I don't want to grow up anymore. I like staying this age; not worrying about a thing. Not paying for education. Not going to wild parties. Not being introduced to the insanity the world has to offer. I guess that's just me. I fear growing up. Sorry, hella off topic. Anyways, I went to Jovey's house after I got a hair cut at this one place. I'm so sad, my hair is HELLA short. It's scaring me. It's hideous. My mother dropped me off and I saw Jovey, Jovill, and Nathaniel playing Guitar Hero. It looked pretty awesome. I'm totally noob at it though. It's okay, haha. So we printed the picture out, did finishing touches, and then walked to his house. When we got there, it wasn't really empty. We played around for a while. Jovey wanted a photo shoot, haha. I thought it was fun, but I wasn't into it as much as she was. We took pictures in the house, on the driveway, by the bushes, and ON THE STREET. After pictures, we went back inside and took pictures of three of us. Then we took pictures of us hugging each other lol. We watched Aljon's youtube video humping Stefan's blue ball. It was.. disturbing. In the end, we said our goobyes and we gave him long hugs. Then we left; Jovey was about to cry. I didn't cry I guess because I already did the other day. LOL. Embarrassing? Maybe just a little bit, haha. I'm gonna miss the memories we shared. Man, I'm gonna miss him. Nobody tortures me, yet cares for me that much. Haha! I'm gonna miss you Stefan. You're the best. I hope we'll see each other later on in the future. I guess I'm done with this blog. Until next time, see yuhh!

Progression

"Party hard, rock and roll, Milpitas is one you can't control;
Ediben and Kevin are HOT; Eda and Lisa are fine, they're the class of 2009!"


"Lisa My Heart"


"Eda, you can stand under my umbrella, Eda Eda Eda, aye aye aye"


"Ediben, you make me want to fall in love again♥"


"Kevin, are you from Tennessee? 'Cause you're the only ten I see!"

Milpitas High School Graduation; Class of 2009.
Congrats, Grads! Best wishes & good luck!

Today I attended Kevin, Ediben, Lisa, & Eda's graduation at Milpitas. Jovey and I have been working really hard all week on their posters and I hope they really like it. We had made individual posters for each graduate and a super huge one. We had fun. After the graduation, we went out with Kevin's family at Banana Leaf, a Malaysian restaurant somewhere in Milpitas. Jovey and I totally agreed that it was really good and that she wanted to eat there for my birthday, her birthday, and for any occasion during the summer, lol. I love fried banana. I've notice that ever since I joined Battle, I've been eating more and more! I don't mind, haha. After we ate, Kevin's parents took us to their house. I must admit, their house was the shit. Two stories, a fish pond in the backyard, a patio, and nice ass rooms. It was nice, really. While there, we chilled, hung up the poster Jovey made him, looked through his pictures from his past proms, and talked. When we were done, Kevin's father dropped us off at the carnival. It was REALLY small and REALLY expensive. It was $5 for a ride. That's so outrageous! We went to this one ride that spun us in a circle while also rotating. You had to go with a partner; you couldn't go alone. Since it was just Kevin, Jovey, and I, Kevin had to go twice; once with each girl, haha. We spent about 20 minutes there or so? Then we walked to the bus stop that took us close to Eda's house. She invited us for her BBQ, but we didn't eat. We were still full. We ran to a bus stop, got inside, and it dropped us off near Ocean Supermarket. We walked to Eda's house and sang karaoke for a while. We stayed until 5 and I told my mother to meet us at Ocean. So we said our goodbyes, left the posters, and walked to Ocean. Kevin walked us because he didn't want anything to happen to us. I thought that was sweet, haha. So we got there and met my mother. She likes Kevin, haha! I think it's cool. "Mom, this is Kevin. Do you remember him?" She slipped a little tiny smile on her face and said, "Yes, I remember him." I thought it was cute, haha. We hugged Kevin goodbye, payed for my mother's crap, dropped Jovey home, and went to Morgan Hill. Man, seriously? Today was hella fun and I wish that it never ended. I really dislike certain people from BOTH sides of my family. I don't know why, but my family and friends have really been getting on my nerves. I'm giving people hella attitude and I really just can't control it. I hate snapping at people when they're just curious about random things. I don't know what to do. I don't know what's causing it, either. Are my mood swings really kicking in? But this has been going on for about two weeks already. I don't get it. So far, I've snapped at:
-Amy; I'm really sorry, girl. You've been suffering from my anger, and I hope you have the heart to forgive me.
-Uncle Quang; but that jerk face dumb butt deserved it for being so stupid.
-Uncle Sen
-Uncle Loi; acting like I'm not fucking dedicated to school as I am with friends. Don't say that I'm not dedicated if you don't even know what's going on in my life. Seriously, don't just say shit and expect that you're right. I've been stressing out every night, studying and preparing for the next day of school. I do hardcore studying. Back off, yo. Really.
-Mother
-Father
-Grandmother
-Cousins in general
-Friends; I don't want to list names.

I guess I'm done with this blog and that I'll put up a new post soon. I still haven't recapped my sophomore year! Man, and I also need to find out what I'm doing for my early 'birthday' hangout day next week. Any suggestions? I think we're gonna go bowling. I can't wait! I don't want hella people to go, but just the main heads. Well, I think I'm gonna go check and find a couch to crash on. I'm still going to be in Morgan Hill for two or three more hours. Man, I dislike my cousins. I don't even want to be here. Whatever. Peace out! Night.


P.S.- Kevin Miranda owes me a hangout day for not hanging out with me today. Lol. Don't forget, best friend!

P.S.S.- Jovey walked in on me while I was crying over the fact that Stefan's moving to Elk Grove on Monday. Man, I'm really gonna miss you. "First one who cries over me gets a punch in the head."
I replied,"I think it's worth it."

So Let's Recap

I don't know whether to start rambling on about my favorite year ever or about spending my last day of being a sophomore with the guys and Jovey today.

Well, I wrote that sentence before I passed about last night.. or should I say this morning? I went to sleep at 1, but it felt like I went at 4 AM. I woke up at 740, went back to sleep, and officially woke up at 845. I hate how I've adapted to waking up early. I can't sleep in anymore! But anyways, yesterday was fun. The biology final was easy. It was kinda funny how Jovey spent a lot of time studying and jotting down notes for that final when we didn't even need it at all, lol. After biology, I went to Viet, but I took my final last week. He excused us an hour early, but I didn't know what to do. I called Bart and asked him where he was and he told me that he was at home waiting for Rusty, I think. I got bored, so I went home. I took the super long way through the houses behind Kristine's. It was.. scary, but I didn't get lost. By the time I got home, Bart called me and I told him I was gonna do something, but really I wasn't. I waited for my mother to come over. She came, picked me up, picked the guys up, and dropped us off. She didn't like the fact that they were all guys, but I'm not really sure. I didn't care. I get along with guys better than some girls anyways. Bart told me that it was weird for me because I was the only girl in the group at the time. I was like "I'm a PIMP" lol. I was kidding. We entered through Macy's and I was about to push the door when it said pull. Epic fail. We went up to the theaters and played games such as black magic and bang. We had to wait for Matt, but it took him forever to come. So we walked around the mall and all they did was look at shoes. I didn't care. I like shoes too, haha. So we went to F.Y.E [pronounced as FWEE] and checked out a few CD's. I went to the iPod section and then the guys came along. Bart plugged in his iPod and the rest started jerking. Lol. It was fun. We were about to go to Red Robbin after, but then I didn't want to go without Jovey. So instead, we went to the theaters without Matt. We got a ticket for watching UP, but then instead, we watched The Hangover. It was so perverted, yet hilarious. Oh man, it was funny. In the middle of the movie, or somewhat, Matt jumped in and watched it with us. After we watched the movie, Jovey called me up and we met at Red Robbin. I was hella hungry. I ordered the garden burger. It was hella good. The whole balancing the salt shaker thing was really awesome. I have no patience whatsoever to do that. Jovey & I went around in F21. I need something to wear for that graduation! I left at around 645 or 7. When I got home, I was really tired. Well, that's the end of my day. I'll continue with my sophomore year recap later on. Until then, see ya!

Finally, It's Finals.

My day was okay, but I miss his presence. I miss seeing his face light up with a smile whenever I entered the room. I miss making him laugh just by simply looking at him. I miss how he'd look at me, and I'd be rolling on the floor, laughing my ass off for no damn reason. UGH. I guess I miss my best friend. It's just weird not having him there because I've been used to it for two damn years. I miss him, hands down. The locker's empty of his things, and blah. There's no description available at the moment for this feeling. UGH. Week of finals, FML. Tomorrow is English and history; Wednesday is math and P.E., and last is biology and Vietnamese. I get to end my last day as a sophomore with the two cool classes. Sweeeeet! Anyways, other than that, I think my day was pretty awesome, thanks to my best girl. Jovey came over today after school. We chilled for a little bit and realized that we didn't have the poster we were supposed to have. So we chilled for a little bit in my room, until my mother told me it was time to go get the shoes I wanted at Payless. My grandmother, mother, Jovey, & I went and I got two pairs of gladiator shoes! YES! I've been wanting just one pair for a while now, and I'm so glad I finally have it in my possession. After I got my shoes, me and Jovey went to the new Shoe Palace that opened right next to Foodmax. This guy was trying to make a connection with us, but Jovey was just weirded out. LOL. It was pretty sad. She saw the Pumas she wanted, so I'll try saving up for her. We went to Michael's after, buying poster paper, black paint, and square paint brushes. We went home and did our long poster. I love Jovey's ability to enlarge drawings she sees on my laptop. That's really cool. We thought up pickup lines and slogans for the poster. I can't wait to see the outcome. Well, it's getting pretty late and I have to wake up at around six to do my hair, paint my toes, and more. Ugh. I hate finals. FML. Until then, see yuh!

A Sense Of Goodbyes

"It's never a goodbye, it's just a see you later."

I know that it's not really a goodbye, and I know it's not the end. However, it just felt completely different yesterday, as it was the Seniors' last day of HIGH SCHOOL. That's really insane to hear. It actually scares me to hear those words. I don't want to leave high school. I don't want to go to college. That's the second biggest step into the real world. The biggest one is graduating college and entering the hardships of the actual true world. I don't want to see the seniors leave. Really. They were part of the originals when I entered in freshman year.
At first, I carried yesterday like it was just a normal school day. Actually, it was a bad luck day for me. I got hit in the head with a basketball twice on the head during P.E., I got hit again on the head with those super hard candies the seniors were throwing at each other in the junior quad, got elbowed by some girl in the hallway, teacher called my shirt 'hoochy' just because it was sleeveless, her poster was due on Monday when she told us it was due yesterday & I stayed up until 2am just for it, and last but not least, I cried while saying my goodbye to Anthony. I guess it's because of my mood swings that is making me feel so emotional. I don't have feelings for him anymore, but it's just weird because I call him my best friend and all. I don't want to lose him that way. I just can't believe that the day we have been talking about for a while actually arrived so quickly. Too quickly. We made a promise to keep in touch a while back and I still need to make him a letter. I wrote a whole corner's worth in his yearbook. I could have wrote more, but I chose to save it for my letter to him. I still don't know what words I'm going to set on the letter, but I know it'll come to me when I do it on Monday or so.
It's not just the seniors I feel like I'm saying goodbye to. I feel like I'm saying goodbye to my past; everyone is moving on and I guess I just don't know how to absorb it. Jimmy's found a new girl. It's just so weird, considering that this time two months ago, was the time we couldn't get our minds off of each other. I don't think that I have feelings for him anymore, but I know that sometime within the future, I'll be running back to him. Just like I always have. I guess I'm just not okay with the fact that we're letting our past slip; just as it never happened. I guess it hurts, but I know I'll get over it and move on eventually. But what does it matter? My mind should be devoted to school, not foolish boys that will eventually crush my mind all over again. I'm done with trying so hard to get someone to have the same feelings for me. I'm done with putting in so much effort for the ones I like, but end up crawling into my bed every night and just weep myself to sleep while listening to such depressing songs. I just realized that I'm doing that right now. Ugh. A Thousand Goodbyes, Little Piece Of Home, When Will It Be Me, If You're Not The One, So Sick, and so much more. I just feel like I should drown myself into school work next year with APUSH, swimming, CVC, and Kasama. I don't think I want a boyfriend to deal with along with this, but it'd be nice to run to someone's arms every night after a long day of stress buildup. I still believe I'm not ready for a relationship, but at the same time, I want one. Does it make sense? Or is it just me? I need someone to guide me right now. I feel so blind to even see what's going on in my life.

Glory!

Hyphy Viet (8:51:29 PM): you learn how to cwalk yet sorry that was random

Amandax0ii (8:51:43 PM): no

Hyphy Viet (8:51:48 PM): but hello

Amandax0ii (8:51:49 PM): i wish

Amandax0ii (8:51:51 PM): hi

Hyphy Viet (8:52:15 PM): u should see how bad my first video i made is....

Amandax0ii (8:52:26 PM): i guess

Amandax0ii (8:52:27 PM): lol

Hyphy Viet (8:53:07 PM): search hyphyap

Amandax0ii (8:53:17 PM): later; doing hw

Hyphy Viet (8:53:59 PM): okay

Hyphy Viet (8:54:08 PM): ill let you u finish ur hw

Amandax0ii (8:54:16 PM): thanks

Hyphy Viet (8:54:45 PM): ttyl

Hyphy Viet (10:09:44 PM): hows ur hw comin along? forgot ur book?

Amandax0ii (10:11:43 PM): yeah

Amandax0ii (10:11:48 PM): uhmm

Amandax0ii (10:11:56 PM): why do you IM me on this sn?

Hyphy Viet (10:14:59 PM): cause ur other aim is offline

Hyphy Viet (10:15:08 PM): i cant aimu on this aim?

Amandax0ii (10:15:24 PM): it's online..

Amandax0ii (10:15:35 PM): i separate the people i talk to

Hyphy Viet (10:16:04 PM): oh i c....

Amandax0ii (10:16:24 PM): yeah

Hyphy Viet (10:17:03 PM): ur othe aim is offline tho or are u invisible?

Amandax0ii (10:18:55 PM): nope

Hyphy Viet (10:18:56 PM): This IM is forwarded to my e-mail Inbox. I will reply as soon as I can.

Amandax0ii (10:31:51 PM): uhm. we need to talk

Hyphy Viet (10:31:51 PM): This IM is forwarded to my e-mail Inbox. I will reply as soon as I can.

Hyphy Viet (10:33:35 PM): ?

Amandax0ii (10:34:07 PM): i know that you told me that you still care about me and all that

Amandax0ii (10:34:09 PM): but like

Amandax0ii (10:34:19 PM): i'm reallly really sorry

Amandax0ii (10:34:29 PM): i don't have the same feelings for you anymore

Amandax0ii (10:34:47 PM): and it feels weird cus' you're just like stalking my shit now

Amandax0ii (10:35:02 PM): reading my status' and IMing me and stuff

Amandax0ii (10:35:20 PM): there's a line between friendship and a relationship

Hyphy Viet (10:35:23 PM): haha

Amandax0ii (10:35:27 PM): and you're wanting to cross it

Amandax0ii (10:35:36 PM): and i don't feel comfortable with it

Amandax0ii (10:35:41 PM): and like

Amandax0ii (10:35:57 PM): if you don't back off, i don't think we should even talk anymore

Amandax0ii (10:35:59 PM): i'm sorry

Amandax0ii (10:36:07 PM): i just don't wanna deal with this

Amandax0ii (10:36:09 PM): right now

Hyphy Viet (10:36:14 PM): lol kk

Amandax0ii (10:36:36 PM): it's not funny

Amandax0ii (10:36:43 PM): i'm fucking serious

Hyphy Viet (10:36:55 PM): okay...


Ever wondered why I broke up with you? This was why I did it.

See You Later

Today was a bitch, but that totally changed after I left school with AJ. We had a few complications for ditching 7th period, but I managed to fall through. We met up at his car and there we drove to Milpitas High. It really does look like Independence, but slightly smaller with a little mixture of Evergreen college. It was nice, but I think I like our school better; no offense, guys. LOL. But yeah.. We got there at about 255, but we just walked around mindlessly until we found this little area with the benches and stuff. The "hangout" place, as I call it, haha. So we sat there until the bell rang; about a minute later, of course, AJ saw my girlfriend, CASS, and told me to run up to her. I stood up and walked super fast towards her, gave her the biggest hug, and walked with her back to the table. And as I turned around, there was John right behind me! I thought that was so weird. He gave me the biggest hug ever! Just like a teddy bear, haha. He had labelled me his "best friend" about a few weeks ago. I'm glad he doesn't like me more than that, thank God. But anyways, I met up with almost everyone except for Gabby. Boo. I wanted to see that pretty smile of hers. I saw ANH HAI! WHOOOT. He gave me the longest hug ever, haha. I saw Lisa too; AJ and I hella surprised her. But anyways, we walked around meeting new people and seeing others that we saw at Battle. John pulled me away from AJ & Cass and took me to go meet his friends. He placed his arm around me, trying to make it look like I was his girlfriend. Jiggah, please. Haha, but I just went along with it to see what his friends might say. I met some cool kids, and some _______ kids. Haha, I don't wanna describe them in a mean way! LOL. We shook hands and left; I saw Paul, gave him a hug, and walked off. We came back and lost the couple, but we went out and about with Alexis too. Then I saw Mr. I'mtoobusyrightnow. Lol. Yes, Kevin Miranda. You know this is you haha. So I hung out with them for a little bit and then they all had to leave so I hugged them and took off. After that, I caught up with the couple, Ediben, Eda, and Lisa and chilled for about a good three-four minutes. After they took off, our trio went around, getting a tour. We went to the biggest building or whatever and hung out in Ms. Tam's room. She's a dope ass teacher, yo! Cuss in front of her and shit and she doesn't even say anything! DAMN. She's COOL. While in there, I met Joyce, AJ [Cass' best friend which is a girl], and Jester. We hung out of a while, but then Joyce's ex came by and started to be all fucking gangster wanting to talk to her and shit. Damn, poor girl. He's hella stalking her ass, but while they were still together, he supposedly cheated on her and forced her to kiss him and shit. DAMN. He's hella fucking obsessed with her. So he kept calling her phone and everybody was about to jump his ass. Everybody hated him; I haven't even met the fool personally, but I mother fucking hate his damn guts already. Later on [around 430 or so?], he came in the room to watch her or talk to her. She ignored him, so he took off. He came back like two of three more times; trying to act all hard and shit. JIGGAH, PLEASE. We got like five people, yo. We'll kick yo ass any day. When he called Joyce, Jester picked up the phone about two times and Dustin [her ex] was like, "You want to die?" to Jester. Jester threw down the phone and was like, "Oh hell no. Don't fucking threaten me like that" and walked out of the classroom. Everyone chased after him and told him that Dustin wasn't worth it. I was hella ready to fight. Ehh. At the end of the visit, we walked Joyce to her car and walked to the parking lot. AJ dropped Cass off at her house for her dance recital and took me home after. The visit was fun, but the ending was just hella crazy, yo. When I got home, I hella ate and did the usual internet. Anh, my ex, once again IMed me. Shit, dude. He's fucking obsessed with me. It's not fucking okay. So, if you read my other blog, Glory!, then you'll see how pissed off I was. I'm glad to fucking tell his ass off. Shit. It's not fucking okay to IM me everyday asking me about EVERYTHING. Homie, back the hell up. Shoot. Anyway, PLANS FOR THIS MONTH?:

This Friday: Camping! All the way til' Sunday, but you can still call me if you miss me. ♥ OH! And Daddy's birthday.
June 11: Last day of school
June 13: MHS' Graduation & movies afterwards! PS- I'm gonna drag Kevin Miranda around and dress him up, whether he likes it or not. OH! And pictures with everyone!!
June 20: Me & Philip's birthday parties!
June 26: Maggie's birthday

Ugh. I'm leaving in July 2nd. Let's do something memorable before I get shipped to hell hole.
I'mma go to sleep; it's 12:34. K, Lates! ♥

Goals For High School

For me, the past two years have been remarkable being new to high school. It was an experience facing all the tension in between: grades, family battles and wars, misunderstanding and unappreciative ignorant friends, ex-friends, misleading love, and reappearances from some people out there. So for the next two school years, I vow myself to enjoy the best time period of my life; continuing without the difficulties or tensions holding me back. I want to go out and reach for whatever I can find; and seek what I can't. I don't care what the hell it takes, but sure as hell, I will do it.

Junior Year
Try to be more active in clubs such as: CVC and Kasama
Work my way up to be officers for Kasama at least because I sure as hell can't be an officer for CVC.
Join Fantastics and participate more with decorations like freshman year
Tutor people in biology, haha
NO SLACKING OFF.
Make every investment worth its while.
Try to get a 4.0!
Family and grades are first priority.
Hehehe. Try to stay in JV swim because it's less pressure :]
Try stopping panic attacks
Run for office for Kasama
Run for SUPREME COURT!
Get HCD; pink slip
Work at Kumon


Senior Year
My slack off year? Not anymore!
Get 5 periods
CVC & Kasama
SUPREME COURT! [If I win]
I need motivation because I'm gonna be in Varsity
Drive
GO TO PROM WITH JOVEY! DOUBLE DATES, MAN.
Buy a pastel blue dress for prom
Make my last year in high school the best year of my life!
Need to focus where to go and what to major in..

If you have any ideas on what I should add on here, feel free to help!

Reappearance

Well, I don't even know how to say this & it has been on my mind for a while now. It's almost been a year since since our breakup and I never knew that this would occur. So much had happened between us and you should know that I'll never forget it. You were my first and only boyfriend I have ever had, but it's just that my affection for you isn't there anymore.. I know you still love me and I respect that, but you're just passing my border line; IMing me whenever you have the chance or reading all my status' on facebook or whatever. To me, you are invading me. Maybe even stalking me. Just because you had told me that you still like me or whatever, does NOT give you permission whatsoever to just.. stalk me. I don't like it. I'm getting to the point where I want to block your ass so that I don't have to deal with this anymore. There is a fine line between friendship and obsession; you're really crossing it. I didn't want to tell you straight up because I didn't want to break or hurt you a second time. Really, I still care for you as a friend, but nothing more. I'm sorry. I'm tired of you wanting to IM me, telling me you miss me, asking about my love life constantly, telling me that whatever guy I like is lucky, and checking up on my page everyday. I don't know how to say it non other than Leave Me The Fuck Alone. I told you maybe later on something might happen between us because I seriously don't know what the future holds. I didn't want to get your hopes up and shit and I sincerely apologize. Man, I know I may sound like a bitch right now, but I'm seriously glad it's off my chest. Oh, and by the way, don't EVER ask about my love life ever again. It's personal; if I wanna fucking share it with you, then I will. But seriously, just back the hell away from me and just let me go.