I hate what a relationship can do to me.

I still need to work on the 'I don't care' ethic.

I don't hate the school.

I seriously don't. I'm just really frustrated at a lot of my peers for being inconsiderate and rude. I really dislike the way how people just throw me a small portion of their project to me and expect me to make it look like an A+ type of project. Seriously, it would be a lot better if you helped me out with my PowerPoint rather than expecting me to bullshit beautifully. I need to talk to Curran about how he's going to grade us tomorrow. I'm going to tell him how that my stupid neighbor did not contribute at all to the project and that my other partner barely contributed at all. I'm seriously furious. I hate how they don't take this seriously and I'm the only one who actually cares about my grade. I don't want to settle for a stupid B. I want an A. I know I can get an A and I don't want stupid lazy people to drag it down. Chemistry is just being too much of a handful. At this point, I'm just gonna cover the main points of every chapter and study from that. I'm not going to even deal with the minor factors. I know I'm going to fail, but Maestas favors me. I don't even really care anymore. APUSH.. I swear, they all annoy me. Every one of them. One thinks she's the shit because she is part of this and part of that. She has all the hardest classes and BLAH BLAH BLAH. Dude, just because I know you can do well, doesn't mean you can gloat about it on the daily. I know you're stressed out and whatnot, but stop looking at me to comfort you when you're being treated like shit. I'm not the one who will say, "oh, you poor baby! here! let me compliment you until you feel better!" Dude, we all have our struggles. Hop off our nutz. K, now it's your turn. You love to listen to everything and gossip about everything. You love to be in drama and you love seeing people mad. Seriously? You're fucked up. Leave everyone alone and worry about your life. You're a typical Chinese chick. And last, it's you. You're so fucking lazy now, I swear! OMG! You don't help do shit at all. You just love being a bitch to me and when I don't tolerate it, you get all up on it. You ask the most obvious questions that aren't even worth mentioning. It's just common sense and I wish you'd just seriously grow up and stop acting like you know everything. I hope I don't have any classes with you next year. I hate how you automatically choose me to be your partner for group projects. Piano is whatever. I don't care anymore. English.. I have to write 5 stories in one day and the rough drafts are due Thursday. In other words, I'm fucked. Precal.. I do care about my grade. I just hate his teaching criteria. I hate that class.

I'm so ready to break down tonight. I feel like just shooting everyone and calling it a day. I wish people would be a little more considerate and just help out one another so that we all wouldn't have to kill each other. Fuck. I really REALLY dislike a lot of my peers that it's kinda a little too close to hate.

I Miss You.

I had a dream about you again last night. It's the second time that you've entered my dreams.. it's making me hesitant to cross paths with you again. I miss you. A lot. I'm not over you and I don't think that I'll ever be. I don't know what I'd do if I ever saw you again. I have a feeling that it'll happen. Maybe not now, maybe not soon, but I think it's gonna happen. In my dreams, I avoided you for as long as I could. I was trying to avoid the awkward tension the second we would lay eyes upon each other. I'm sick of missing you. I'm sick of the wondering, dreams, and nostalgia. I just wish you'd just come back to me so that all this bullshit can just stop. I just want you back. I wish I could just rewind time back when you were just mine. Sigh.. And after all the shit I went through, I still think of you. Fuckkkkkkkk.

-A.Ly